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| The Colour of Love (CAI 2024) |
I try saying
instead of, they don't love me
I try saying, they
find me uncomfortable to love.
And I'm sure that's true
I'm sure if you find yourself unfortunately,
inexplicably, loving me
maybe that's a lot,
and not what you expect
if you stumbled into love unprepared
for all the ways I'm me; maybe
the blame's not mine; maybe
it's just a situation,
something that happens all the time,
mis-matched needs and expectations
despite affection, spiting love
bad transmission, a frequency above
or below your song, maybe what's wrong
is your love itself, that you love me, anyway
even though, in spite
and that's a position rife with disappointment
not every love feels loving.
I suspect my thought experiment encodes delusion
I hope so; anyway, I build illusions every night
to carry me through the days.
