Thank you for being a touchstone at every point in my life. You appear in more of my favourite movies than any other actor. You consistently choose films and characters that offer insight and range; you are completely your characters and completely yourself. You work with your brother which leads me to think you have genuine affection, which warms my heart and gives me hope. You seem like a person who cares deeply and also doesn't give two fucks, which attracts me like honey. I would know your voice anywhere, I pick it out all the time, and it's like a little gift, a reminder that you're out there, in the world, existing and creating beauty and curiosity around you just by existing, every time you unexpectedly show up. I even kind of remember you in movies that you weren't in, but should have been. I can reimagine every movie I've ever seen, and every movie I ever will see, with you in it. You always belong. I love that you're real.
Friday, December 10, 2021
Friday, October 29, 2021
Sometimes I catch the mirror
Thursday, October 28, 2021
Sunday, October 10, 2021
|Bill Murray (CAI 2021)|
Dear Bill Murray,
I saw you in the latest Netflix thing and what occurred to me is, you're getting old. Like me, I'm getting old, I just started a little later. But I was struck by the realization that you will live your whole life and never know me. I never really thought about that before, that you might die never having known me at all. It's too bad, but it's the way of things. I think you would have gotten a kick out of me, if you knew me; that the way you would have seen me, and my work, would have brought a unique and important energy to whatever I do next. It might have made up for some of the things I don't know about you, that still hang heavy. I think the pride you would have felt to be part of me and my doings would be worth taking to the grave, despite your many other amazing life experiences. I think that knowing me as a person on Earth would make life feel more complete. And of course, just being known deeply by me is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But it's already too late. Getting to know me takes many years and not insignificant effort, and even then, trust builds in shared doing. Do we have many years left? No. And they are already pretty spoken for with previous commitments and callings. I'm afraid we don't have time to build the bond of knowing deeply. That time passed without either of us noticing. You will always miss me, until your dying day, never knowing what you are missing. Meeting me now would do you no good - it might make matters worse, at this point. A meeting between a celebrity, a fan? It degrades what's possible. You might think what you see is me, and walk away mistaken that you know me. You might die thinking you'd met me, and I was nothing special. Better to die having never met me at all.
With warm regards,
(listen: Happy Rhodes, the Issue)
P.S. It occurs to me that this letter isn't to you, at all. It's to the whole world. Or myself.
Monday, October 4, 2021
Friday, June 11, 2021
|(creator not identified, found this on https://www.change.org/p/carolyn-bennett-o-canada-our-home-s-on-native-land)|
You must deal with the truth of Canada’s nature and relationship with the First Peoples. From killing Old Growth forests to missing and murdered women, from residential "school” to prisons where too many of the First Peoples are confined, from poisoned drinking water to eroded territories, from the RCMP to the OPP, I've barely begun the list. The truth is that our entire economy and society was never paid for, and can't be paid for. Subjugation and eradication haven't done their evil job, the First People are still standing, asking for the partnerships we promised. We are no longer the brutal people who first peopled this land. We know better. Know better, do better.
We can't do land acknowledgments and then arrest land defenders. We can’t pollute drinking water and not provide drinking water. We can’t claim respect and absolve their murderers and abusers. Canada should be a land of integrity.
Two things you can do right now:
1) Call off the RCMP from Fairy Creek.
2) Find all the bodies of children murdered by the insane residential system, and do something about it.
Then, enact every recommendation from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Report http://www.trc.ca/. Take every first and next step possible. And then the next. For as long as it takes.
Canada is amazing, but I can't feel proud of my country because of these failures. We need to get on with the hard work of building a partnership with our environment and our First Peoples so that seven generations from now, our descendants are still here.
Maybe in a few generations we can heal the wounds and build trust, but not until we start. The first step is to acknowledge a pattern of behaviour that is not working and is, ultimately, killing us. It's time to get healthier. Be honest, be clear. June is Indigenous History month. We can never fix the past, but there's plenty to do in the present.
Tuesday, May 18, 2021
The entire world economy is currently worth $87.55 trillion dollars. There are only 87.5 trillions in our entire world economy. Please note:
Jeff Bezos is the richest man in the world with a net worth of $107.1 billion. will be the first billionaire to become a trillionaire in 2026 at the age of 62.
Xu Jiayin will be the second billionaire to turn a trillionaire in 2027 at the age of 68.
Jack Ma, will be the third man to hit one trillion Dollars net worth in 2030, at the age of 65.
Ma Huateng, also known as the Pony Ma, will become a trillionaire by the time he’s 61 years old in 2033.
Mukesh Ambani, is expected to hit one trillion by 2033 by which time he will be 75 years old.
Bernard Arnault will probably become a trillionaire by 2032 at 84 years old.
Mark Zuckerberg will be the youngest person to make a trillion at the age of 51 years in 2036.
Steve Ballmer, former CEO of Microsoft, is also set to hit a trillion in 2040 when he will be 83 years old.
Michael Dell will have made his first trillion by 2043 by when he will be 78 years old.
Larry Page and Sergey Brin are both set to hit $1 trillion by 2051 at the age of 77 years.
That's 11. Of 87.5. Owned by 11 guys in our lifetime. In their lifetime. And forever after tied in inheritance, never again part of the world economy the rest of us share. We're down to the last pass on the Monopoly Board and there are only about a dozen people on Earth who will win if we keep letting the systems run us.
(source: Business Insider India, October 3, 2019, "Here’s how long it will take the world’s richest billionaires to become trillionaires.")
Tuesday, March 16, 2021
|Unfinished & Tangled: A self portrait (CAI 2020)|
I am not disposable.
But maybe I am. I guess I am.
I haven't earned the right to know where I stand
to trust where I stand
I haven't earned the true esteem of a friend
When people look at me they see
what? not much. Not much here to see, to be
If I try to share what's here, I impose
If I don't, I withhold
and it's not very interesting, anyway
Never enough, always too much
Alone, in the end,
even among friends
Sunday, February 21, 2021
|(strange bird created by CD Good)|
On our first day here, we saw a fox
large and orange and confident, trotting, just off
in the distance, and I thought,
we are closer to nature
we will have to watch the pets, I thought
but in the silence since
no animal has crossed my line of sight
all is quiet, day and night
save one, rare crow who sometimes shows his wings
flying off, he sings a croaking taunt my way
saying, see, you are alone
you are alone
Sunday, February 7, 2021
I understand that hope can ask too much
how comforting to sink back, let demands
float away, spend the days
I see it's not just easier; sometimes it's life saving
to forget to try, just wait to die
reduce yourself to the basics.
When effort falls flat what inspires more effort?
When trying draws judgement but not support, when doing takes energy from precious stores
When experience tells us the prize will cost more
than it's worth
abandoning hope can be a warm blanket safe haven
a kind of birth
free, finally, from the strain always striving suck me dry try try try
treadmill hamster-wheel life of strife hanging on by broken nails
the carrot always miles
I see why, today, you might decide despair is a better friend
and in the end
I can't disagree, even though I see there's something lost in translation
I can't shake your ambition free; it's hard enough to do it
Friday, January 29, 2021
|A gash in the sky|
knicked open clumsily
Friday, January 8, 2021
|Frozen in Place (CAI2020)|
I thought that I would matter
But I don’t
I thought my words would gather
But they don’t
I thought I’d be important, a person who decides
I thought that people would be drawn to the truths I’d write
I thought my life would keep unfolding with the next surprise
But it won’t.
I thought the years held promise
But they don’t
I thought my dreams would fly
But they won’t
I thought that hopes and effort could give my visions life
I thought that recognition would reciprocally arrive
I thought the world would see me in my wonder if I tried
But it won’t.
Unfolding years resign me to the loss and dread and fear
Try again? Why try again?
To speak when no one hears
No spark, no lift
Each try falls flat, depleting precious stores
Hope recedes unyielding as failure takes its course
Do or don’t, whatever, it never was a choice.
I thought one day I’d matter
But I don’t
I thought my works would gather
But they don’t
I thought I’d bring some clarity, and people would respond
I thought my tribe would find me and together we’d expand
I thought the world would strive for peace and I would take its hand
But we won’t.