Tender

Tender

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Expectation



I have walked this planet for 42 years, and I have so little wisdom to share. But some experience, for whatever it's worth to you, now. One thing I want to share today is this:

Deciding to wake up is not a path to bliss.

When you’ve slogged through your anger with everyone and the Universe for the ways their imperfections harm you (slinging mud and throwing stones)

When you’ve crawled through your swamp of guilt and humiliation for all the ways your own imperfection has harmed others and harmed you (always at risk of drowning in the sludge)

When you pull yourself over the edge by your bleeding finger nails

There comes some relief

in knowing that you can never know
in holding the perfection of your imperfection
in learning that what Other People think doesn't trump
what you know and choose with love. 

And there come people who can love you, 
who do love you, 
when you love you, 
regardless of whether they do.

There comes some relief 
in releasing yourself from 

expectation 

and its inevitable disappointing end

(whenever you manage to allow it)