Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Mini Bad Mom post

My heart is racing. My breath is ragged. My eyes are filled with tears and my jaw is clenched. I just screamed at my family. Why is that the only thing that anyone listens to?

I wasted 45 minutes on much more reasonable, loving approaches that only seemed to encourage them to grander heights of irrationality to keep my attention. More and more I find myself thinking, I should just lose it, scream and freak out at them now, and save myself the trouble instead of waiting until they have worn away my patience to the point where I’m scraped dry and bleeding inside and I just can’t take another second of it. 

I don't want to be a person who screams at other people. 

I choke it back. And try again.