Tender

Tender

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Wonder is also this (#reverb10 Day 4)

#Reverb10 Prompt for December 4: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)





Wonder sounds like a good thing. Wonderful, right? A child's wonder at the world. The idea carries a certain innocence, implies lightness like bubbles of curious colour. Awe, joy, a fundamental opening response.


And certainly, wonder is often like that. 


Wonder is also this: a gnawing, incessant desire to UNDERSTAND, the very act a leap from that desire to...well, nothing that I can see from here. Is this a wonder to cultivate? It unseats my security, turns my world to chaos, demands that I accept the state of wonder as is, no expectations, no attachments, never a resolution. Wonder, my constant companion, allowing me to accept nothing I see, nothing I hear, at the level on which I receive it. Wonder, forcing me to hold multitudes of data points in constant, swirling company, seeking unexpected patterns. 


Wonder is also this: a demanding child, pushing for attention when I'm tired, tired, tired, saying - "look! A balloon! It's red! And I say, "yes, it's red." and she knows I'm not listening so she says it again, "but mommy, it's red!" and I don't even look at the balloon or her as I repeat it, "yes, honey, it's red" and then I happen to look down, and her blue eyes are right on me and beside her, the balloon is red. Bright, beautiful red, like her lips, like her cheeks, and I am in awe that this child is here, with me, and cares to share this experience of red with someone so distracted and jaded.

"It's so beautiful. Thank you for showing me."  



(I've pretty much given up editing if I'm going to actually blog every day. If you followed me before you'll know I usually blog a few times a MONTH. But so far, so good... #reverb10)

6 comments:

  1. I like your everyday blogging--and the reminder to notice the pure red of balloons :). Both are beautiful.

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  2. You don't need to edit! Bringing the beauty is enough of a gift to the world. You are absolutely right- wonder is so much more the the bright and shiny image it at first brings to mind. Thanks for the balance.

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  3. I'm a sporadic poster myself and totally get what you are saying about the daily post grind. No you didn't use the word, but something in the energy...or was that me projecting. Children help us re-member wonder. I love the way this simple story gets the whole point across. I can feel through your words.

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  4. we all wonder like that as children and then we learn/are taught to filter it out. then we have children and a red balloon becomes something to be happy about.
    everything abut life is wonder.

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  5. Red is my favorite color. Why? Because of its passion. It forces the audaciousness out of me. I love the sense of wonderness children have and how they force audaciousness out of us too. Bless them.

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  6. "...someone distracted and jaded" you are not.

    If you were, you would not stop to notice, you would not open to it, you certainly would not write this.

    If you were, you would not be capable of writing things which make us stop to notice, open to it, lead us to write.

    In the midst of the tired, in the midst of the demands, in the midst of the not-listening, always, always...

    awe breaks through.

    I love you, MrsWhich. You are one of the ways, one of the places where awe breaks through for me.

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