Tender

Tender

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

How am I different? A desk inventory. #reverb10 revisited

What's different about me?

On my desk are:

  • 11 books in four piles (see below for a complete listing)
  • 1 magazine - National Geographic's November issue: the New Universe - Here, Now and Beyond
  • a printout of my current fiction work with different coloured notes and edits waiting to be entered in the digital version
  • at least 60 pieces of paper (various types, colours, shapes) with impossible scribbles for me to decode and try to use somehow - workout inspirations. And while most of it is rubbish, I find enough nuggets that I keep them till I sift through. They are in four messy piles, three of which are under my keyboard
  • 7 notepads full of notes and blank pages
  • A baby-wipes box filled with: 7 pens, 2 hair clips, 1 scissors (scissor?), eye drops, a camera case (no camera) cables (I don't know what for - maybe the camera?), a highlighter, pens (including one that writes in gold), a belt-clip for a security badge, nail polish and a hotwheels car
  • A picture of Woody (Toy Story) on which a child has coloured, taped to the wall
  • Construction paper
  • My water bottle, half full
  • An empty diary
  • My computer monitor displaying this blog
  • A lamp that doesn't work and isn't plugged in
  • A mouse that doesn't work and has no battery
  • An index box holding business cards from people I haven't laid eyes on in years
  • A printer that is always out of ink
  • A pencil holder which currently holds: a chopstick, a flashlight, an empty lipstick, a broken calculator, a highlighter, flower-shaped post-in notes (pink and orange), a business card from someone important who wouldn't recognize me if I bumped into him, hand sanitizer and an unsharpened pencil. It has a sticker on the front with a picture of the cartoon character, The Tick, sitting at a desk at a typewriter screaming "Nooooooooooooo!!!" Behind him on the wall are the following signs: Hang in there! TGIF! Don't ask me, I just work here.

On the upper shelves:

  • An empty glass perfume bottle that has never held perfume. It's purple, curvy, not quite my style, a gift
  • Speakers (surround sound)
  • My degrees, certificates and all other framed accomplishments, stacked or leaning. They could fall but probably won't. I do nothing to shore this up
  • Extra copies of a book that I keep for women who could use it, about how the problem isn't food
  • A cardboard box containing my husband's Christmas gift. He won't peek. He likes surprises

The Books are:

  • Extreme Programming Explained (Embrace Change) by Kent Beck
  • The Answer to How is Yes by Peter Block
  • An Illustrated Short History of Progress by Ronald Wright (this is actually a birthday gift for my Dad, whose birthday was in September)
  • A Traitor to Memory by Elizabeth George
  • The Power of Collective Wisdom by Briskin, Erickson, Ott and Callanan
  • Power and Love by Adam Kahane
  • Falling Awake by Dave Ellis
  • The Evolution of God by Robert Wright
  • The Book of the SubGenius by Bob
  • The Up and Down Book (Starring Ernie and Bert) from Sesame Street (A Golden Tell-A-Tale Book published in 1979, an original, with the painting of Ernie and Bert on Beginning and End Streets on the inside covers. It smells like my Grandma's house. My son chewed the upper right binding)
  • The Giver by Lois Lowry
  • Harry Potter et les Reliques de la Mort by J.K. Rowling and translated by Jean-Francois Menard


I do solemnly swear that I have provided, to the best of my ability, a full and complete account of my desk at this exact moment, 6:34pm on December 8, 2010. You now know, better than anyone, how I am different.


I haven't even gotten into the folder holders on the wall:

- folders from my consulting business clients (2 years old)
A book about crafts that I never open
A pocket book of pictures (outdated) of my children that is supposed to be in my purse

Oh, and on the wall, there is also a sticker with the name and phone number of a cleaner who used to work for us but quit in disgust at how messy we were. Why is it still there? I think I'll take it down.

4 comments:

  1. you crack me up, sugar. a few bits: a) i'm not at all surprised to hear that your water bottle is "half FULL'. nope, not a bit. that's just the kind of girl you are. b) to read that your writing is printed out ready for editing makes me smile. a lot. xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. I adore how you've responded to this one. I was doing my own mental inventory of my office as I was reading this - I think I'll "tidy up" tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm thinking that it is a desk of a writer. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jeanne - re: editing - you should note that there are large chunks of point form one-line descriptions of what will one day be pages-long scenes, and several "then something ______ (weird, scary, surprising, irritating) happens".

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.