Tender

Tender

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Mini Bad Mom post

My heart is racing. My breath is ragged. My eyes are filled with tears and my jaw is clenched. I just screamed at my family. Why is that the only thing that anyone listens to?

I wasted 45 minutes on much more reasonable, loving approaches that only seemed to encourage them to grander heights of irrationality to keep my attention. More and more I find myself thinking, I should just lose it, scream and freak out at them now, and save myself the trouble instead of waiting until they have worn away my patience to the point where I’m scraped dry and bleeding inside and I just can’t take another second of it. 

I don't want to be a person who screams at other people. 

I choke it back. And try again. 

8 comments:

  1. Parenting brings out the worst in us all.

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  2. I hate when that happens ... the only thing worse is you get to that stage, crank up to scream, veins bulging on your head, neck spread like a cobra, eyes popping and your voice box clamps shut and only a squeak comes out! The object(s) of your anger dissolve in laughter and what can you do...

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  3. Parenting brings out the best too! I am so there with you. I scream at my kids and then I think "Who is that person screaming? Oh it's me." Sigh. You are loved. You are valuable. You are human and you are perfect just the way you are. Your children forgive and forget. Don't let it get you down. We all do it. "Anger is one of the sinews of the soul." Thomas Fuller

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    1. Coming back to this comment today - thank you, Elizabeth.

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  4. I lived this for 15 years. I hear you. Mine are all grown now. We don't yell anymore. The calm approach actually works, and we laugh about the 'good old days' when I was popping a vein in my forehead on a regular basis.

    You have my deepest sympathy. <3

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  5. I really appreciate the supportive words, friends. It's not like this all the time, and I do see improvement. Sometimes they are actually pleasant without prompting ;-) I got into this parenting thing as a crash course in being a better person - I'm getting my money's worth!

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  6. I've taken to giving myself some time-outs -- turning into a single parent has thrown us all into a bit of a nose-dive.
    Always adjusting.
    Always taking a breath.
    Always coming out the other side.

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  7. It happens. You are human. And sometimes that is the only thing that gets them to listen. That is also one of the reasons children are made to be so resilient.

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