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| Care (CAI 2023-2025 in progress) |
(a moving meditation)
No one asks if I'm okay
as if they care to know; they don't
they know;
it's easier this way, I'm so willing to say
I'm fine
any fine print can be ignored
I can continue to play my part
be the metamorph, the thing you need, no strings
tool vessel portal role
wholly for you
no care for me required;
how I'm wired leaves me vulnerable; I depend on others
for touch, for exchange, for love
and I say I'd rather be alone than loved less than I deserve but I return,
over and over
because
I'll die alone
isolation's cruel abuse
and if I can't be loved exactly, I can earn my way around
be of use
the work is the work, if nothing else after all
not every quest lifts every curse
we well know care cannot be coerced
only found
I have my ways I clear the days I move and keen expel and moan and groan and feel and reel around on the ground alone muscle blood bone a spirit alone in a body on earth among bodies unlike me so like me unlike me tapping deeper and through, not out, not through you but through me, like a tree, like the roots going down I am one I am wonder I live here and now I am precious and whole and full and entire I can face this again walk through fire I can and I do and I will and I am.
back again.
ready to face what I need to be
to be allowed to be around
and do the work, in service of the work, the work being the work after all and all ways
and any way
timing is everything.
