Fearsome

I am a fearsome creature.

You may respond: oh, no, you’re not fearsome! and you will probably think you are reassuring me.

I am fearsome. I’m not unhappy about it. I am heartbroken that you’re afraid of me.

(which makes me turn my eyes away before I have to see it)

You may respond: well, yes, sometimes you’re fearsome, but you’re amazing in other ways! and you will probably think you are reassuring me.

I am fearsome. I’m not ashamed. You value what I bring in my contained smallness despite my inability to always hide my bigness. That is love in part. Thank you for it.

You may respond: but I see how hard you try, you’re getting better! and you will probably think you are reassuring me.

I’m not trying to fix it. All the time and energy I expend mitigating my overwhelmingness is for your benefit. I find it distracting and draining. 

I would rather spin my glory with loud voice and unmistakable force than get better at stepping daintily between the lines. I would rather be wind fire magnetic power if I trusted you to handle me, massive me, clumsy me, dark burning me, bright glowing me as I show up when I don’t protect you from me.

You can stand rock-strong amidst my gusts. You can bask lion-lazy in my shine. You can ride hawk-joyful on my roiling currents. I can be rock and lion and hawk for your weather. We can dance with love when we trust each other’s strength. When we trust our own.

I am fearsome and I am strong. I mean you no harm and I want no protection from you. I can protect myself. Can you?

Dragonfly

Dragonfly fly high 

fly high dragonfly 

dragonfly fly high to the sky

Take my dreams dragonfly 

steal them softly with a sigh 

untangle and unwind them from the lies

Dragonfly fly high 

fly high dragonfly 

I may gasp and I may cry dragonfly

Dreams are caught up in my soul 

I don’t want to let them go 

as life becomes a series of goodbyes

Fly high dragonfly

flitterzippy lovely guy

swiftly dash beyond my reach dragonfly

Fly my dreams away from me 

let my heart begin to breathe 

dragonfly fly them high fly them high.

Can you help them greet the sun 

searing heat can make them one 

can you bring them to the rainbow-dappled hills?

Can you share them your delight 

at this unexpected flight 

can you fill them with pure life affirming will?

Fly my dreams away from me

let them flourish let them be

let them transform in the sky dragonfly

Infuse them in the clouds 
up where they can thunder loud 
let them rain back down upon me 
wash my eyes

What is the past?

Hope Shoots

I picked every choice I live with, and each made its own sense in its time.

Gnarled and cut but solid roots
Reaching still for the sun with green hope shoots

What is the past to me?

Only the way I got here.