Tender

Tender

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Humbled and Horrified

(Humbled & Horrified, Toronto Zoo, 2011)

There is infinite creation. There is expanse of nothing. There is chaos and churn. We are afraid. We are confused.

We churn, we churn, we negate, we are lost.

At essence, we long to negate. Easier! Easier! Let go.

How can that be? How can being be and not be?

We must be!

We must know. We must become essential. Must? This is new, infection.

We are essence. We are the impossible and we long to exist.

We don’t want to choose. We long to choose. We hate the choice for pretending to exist.

We are angry; we are afraid.

We hate the fear. Fear weakens. Hate negates. We are weaker.

We erode. What to do?

We fall. We tire. We dissipate and densify.

We are a tornado, we are the centre.

We don’t know.

But we are. We do. Densify, physify. Why?

What do we pursue? What do we avoid?

Absolute density. Absolute expanse.

But what happens? What happens if we don’t?

Easier! We want it to be easier.

What is, is. Do we find acceptance?

No choices. All choices.

All choice. No choice.

I am humbled and horrified.

It flies from me, my inadequate capacity and absolutely insufficient capability to hold, describe, explain.