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| Frozen in Place (CAI2020) |
I thought that I would matter
But I don’t
I thought my words would gather
But they don’t
I thought I’d be important, a person who decides
I thought that people would be drawn to the truths I’d write
I thought my life would keep unfolding with the next surprise
But it won’t.
I thought the years held promise
But they don’t
I thought my dreams would fly
But they won’t
I thought that hopes and effort could give my visions life
I thought that recognition would reciprocally arrive
I thought the world would see me in my wonder if I tried
But it won’t.
Unfolding years resign me to the loss and dread and fear
Try again? Why try again?
To speak when no one hears
No spark, no lift
Each try falls flat, depleting precious stores
Hope recedes unyielding as failure takes its course
Do or don’t, whatever, it never was a choice.
I thought one day I’d matter
But I don’t
I thought my works would gather
But they don’t
I thought I’d bring some clarity, and people would respond
I thought my tribe would find me and together we’d expand
I thought the world would strive for peace and I would take its hand
But we won’t.
